O, the terrifying sounds of plumbers sawing and drilling. How they bang above my head as I type. The cat is in hiding. The neighbors have come out to see what the ruckus is. Two additional trips to stores for parts and lumber have been made. My hourly fees are racking up. Things have to be complicated. I can’t be satisfied with a normal hot water heater. No, I desire eternal, ecologically friendly hot water. And so they drill and plumb and pipe and curse the previous plumbers, who were evidently idiots.
All this fun for a tankless hot water heater! But I join ranks with the Europeans and Japanese who enjoy the eternal hot water. How I love thee, hot water! How I have missed you these chilly mornings this last week. Waking up is no fun without you. Without you, I empathize more with my ancestors who had no water heaters nor furnaces and simply washed with the ice water in their pitchers. A wretched time I do not want to return to. And so I go out and ask the plumbers is there is any way I can help them complete their task.
They look grim.
There are phone calls made. New lumber is procured for the “surprisingly large hole” they had to cut in the ceiling.
Hot water, I wait for you. My patience is thin. Do not make me kill the plumbers.
Hhmmmm… there is hot water in prison!
db | 06-May-05 at 5:21 am | Permalink
There is *not* hot water in prison. Don’t believe what you saw in all those Caged Heat movies.
narrator | 06-May-05 at 12:10 pm | Permalink
You… you mean… it’s not true? What about all the women in scanty “cleaning” uniforms? And madchens with whips?