Comments on: Weekend Movie Reviews http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/2004/08/11/weekend-movie-reviews/ life and travels of an iowan abroad Mon, 06 Dec 2010 04:24:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 By: narrator http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/2004/08/11/weekend-movie-reviews/#comment-52 narrator Thu, 19 Aug 2004 00:00:17 +0000 http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/?p=52#comment-52 First off, I've tried to drink away the memory of that movie and it hasn't worked, I've only further lost my ability to do math. Second, I had completely blocked out PSH's role in that movie and now that you say it, I take back all the nice things I've ever said about him. Third, yes, I remember the cellulite-of-Paltrow (and finding comfort in it), and I remember I mistakenly called it "cellulose", and Kia corrected me and I felt the fool, but not for long. Yes, if it had been 3.5 hours of Jude Law's ass coming out of that bathtub, it may have been salvageable. Alas. First off, I’ve tried to drink away the memory of that movie and it hasn’t worked, I’ve only further lost my ability to do math. Second, I had completely blocked out PSH’s role in that movie and now that you say it, I take back all the nice things I’ve ever said about him. Third, yes, I remember the cellulite-of-Paltrow (and finding comfort in it), and I remember I mistakenly called it “cellulose”, and Kia corrected me and I felt the fool, but not for long. Yes, if it had been 3.5 hours of Jude Law’s ass coming out of that bathtub, it may have been salvageable. Alas.

]]> By: Kia http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/2004/08/11/weekend-movie-reviews/#comment-51 Kia Mon, 16 Aug 2004 05:11:05 +0000 http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/?p=52#comment-51 The only things I remember about the talented mister ripley are, in no particular order: 1. I saw it with you, because 2. Jude Law's ass was featured 3. For not nearly long enough, and 4. Gwyneth Paltrow actually showed cellulite 5. Which made me feel less awful about sitting through the entirety of that awful, awful film. You should go see Garden State. Bug's in it. The only things I remember about the talented mister ripley are, in no particular order:

1. I saw it with you, because
2. Jude Law’s ass was featured
3. For not nearly long enough, and
4. Gwyneth Paltrow actually showed cellulite
5. Which made me feel less awful about sitting through the entirety of that awful, awful film.

You should go see Garden State. Bug’s in it.

]]> By: db http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/2004/08/11/weekend-movie-reviews/#comment-50 db Sat, 14 Aug 2004 09:18:07 +0000 http://www.constantnarrator.com/wp/?p=52#comment-50 I've found that the most effective way to get over the unbearable sting of The Excretable Mr. Ripley is whenever I see a movie with Matt Damon (or Gwyneth Paltrow (who I don't like anyway), or Jude Law (who I do like, but I'm officially done with his weewee) but not Mr. Hoffman, whom I've forgiven and chalk up his participation in said cinematic enema as some sort of doppelganger juju), I scream "I HATE YOU, MATT DAMON!" as loud as I can and that usually cleans out the system for long enough to get through the film. Note that this strategy works better at home; ushers frown on screaming at Mr. Damon, for some reason. I’ve found that the most effective way to get over the unbearable sting of The Excretable Mr. Ripley is whenever I see a movie with Matt Damon (or Gwyneth Paltrow (who I don’t like anyway), or Jude Law (who I do like, but I’m officially done with his weewee) but not Mr. Hoffman, whom I’ve forgiven and chalk up his participation in said cinematic enema as some sort of doppelganger juju), I scream “I HATE YOU, MATT DAMON!” as loud as I can and that usually cleans out the system for long enough to get through the film. Note that this strategy works better at home; ushers frown on screaming at Mr. Damon, for some reason.

]]>